Put that in your utilikilt and smoke it

Hey apple how's that white iphone 4 doin?

Do bee farts smell like honey?

Please digeredon't

Kim Cardassians

Naming your baby modeling agency 'Nemesis' seems totally batsh*t insane.

Do methheads in England have all their teeth?

Babyleggin it

stempunk: a steampunk sub-genre focusing on the care and feeding of elaborate pocket-watches and the dandies who fob them.

Watching a BBC documentary about a pregnancy pact at a US high school is extremely surreal.

'Pop up shops' should probably stop existing now.

Whenever I hear the song 'Carrot Rope' by Pavement I automatically think of Carrot Top's giant bulgy roid veins. IT BURNS

I want to know why nobody's put Febreze in my antiperspirant yet.

3yo likes the song about the rocket body. parenting

Haven't worn a wristwatch for 6mo. Not sure how long it will take to get used to wearing one now.

Like in that Eminem song I would really like to see what happens when volcano meets a tornado.

We airshowed the Watsonville Fly-In who's airboss.

The 98 Jeep Grand Cherokee is pretty much the exact opposite of a Toyota Prius in every way.

If I hear one more person at this airshow call the B-25 a B-52 I'm going to lose it

We just showed that airshow who's airboss.

What does that giant air force cargo plane carry? US foreign policy of course.

There's a dude at this party who keeps calling it "flat tire ale".

OH: "that's the sound of freedom my friend" (spoken by an f/a-18 pilot).

I may have exceeded the daily limit on these mini bagel pizza appetizers.

OH: "let's heat up the thermocouple"

I think I hate the word 'curated'.

The last workday of the summer makes me a bit melancholic.

There's not enough xylophone-based music in this world.

Conversion van

I keep sending emails to ping.fm but I don't get itunes recommendations back. Help, Steve Jobs!

I keep sending emails to ping.fm but I don't get itunes recommendations back. Help, Steve Jobs!

Pretty sure every job I've ever gotten has been due to being honest about myself in interviews.

I am full of gyro.

I've got babywipes in every room of the house.

Penny is a really sadly underutilized girl's name.

I'm so incredibly glad facebook didn't exist when I was in college.

The fact that there are disparate Dove brand soap, chocolate, & ice cream products in the market is confusing.

The SF SPCA charges $150 to adopt a kitten, $50 to adopt a grown cat.

Taking danger level from orange (white shirt + coffee) to red (white shirt + replace toner cartridge).

Probably need to start an astroturfing campaign about my personal image.