It's made out of meat - The Spamularity. Suck it, Kurzweil. http://ping.fm/wnhaq

I probably write perl code same way as I wrote code in GW-BASIC in 1987, just with fewer line numbers and GOTOs.

Today has been an awesome day of sitting around grandma's house, reading books, and playing with the kids.

Does this look infected to you?

Someone please invent a multivitamin in the form of a delicious dinner roll.

"Daddy I want cheerios. No, not the heart ones, the sweet ones!" - my 3yo, on the taxonomy of Cheerios.

Saw a VW Beetle with license FFFF66. And yes, it was indeed 'light brilliant yellow' nrrd color websafe

We are going to spatchcock the turkey on Christmas, which is apparently still legal in this state.

This has been an absolutely insane year. Good news: we survived! On vacation until 2011.

Codereviewed and checked in a script to automate a bunch of work for a bunch of folks. Better stop while I'm ahead. sysadmin xmas

Your mother is so fat that someone made a joke only a lisp programmer could love http://i.imgur.com/Ue5hb.jpg

I got a fever for tha flava of a flavia.

Done got Lipitor-up last night.

Pretty sure our xmas tree grew more needles after we brought it home just so it could shed more.

Done got lipitor up last night.

Secondary sexual characteristics are an important component of mating decisions. http://ping.fm/4CA2t

The Chicago song 'You're My Inspiration' popped up on my itunes and its good there wasn't anything sharp nearby for me to stab my eardrums.

The high five was invented in 1977 by a gay professional baseball player.

For the first time in my life I have been invited to join a book club. Honor? Have I arrived at last in high society?

I just blew a 3 year old's mind by giving him a Starburst.

F'IN MAPQUEST! http://ping.fm/ry6zB

Homework is destroying our youth. http://ping.fm/67dnc

3yo very concerned we have no fireplace for stockings. Says we must buy one, and a fire too. parenting christmas

Boy Christmas sure unleashes the deluge of desperate emails from dying websites that still have your address, huh?

Dave & Busters is basically Chuck E. Cheese's for grownups, right?

Every time somebody says something stupid today I'm going to stare at this picture http://i.imgur.com/FGS0N.png (via @solarce)

I always thought this railroad maint machine was called a 'scarefire' (awesome) but it's actually a scarifier. http://youtu.be/AM7-loAlhgo

When I hear 'Echoes Myron' by GBV I _almost_ understand why people go nuts over that band.

FACT: you are legally required to get a personalized license plate if you own an Audi TT Coupe.

The Mac spining beachball of death has become my Rover. I cannot escape.

I think we can all agree that the Antikythera Device is the Hellraiser puzzle box, right?

FIRE THE PURGE SCRIPT!!!

Some days it's a lot easier to tell other people to follow the process than it is to make yourself follow the process.

I like reading grey text on a white background because I can pretend it's SPOOOOKY GHOOOOST WRITING. Goosebumps!

It's so cute when babies just fall asleep in mid-crawl.

Did someone hit Owen Wilson in the face with another frying pan?

I've got a bandaid on my earlobe today, like I totally went to the wrong kiosk in the mall.

Starting Monday at Inbox Zero. Feels good, man.

Cutting and cataloging holga negatives. Feels good, man.

Composed a sweet song 'Babysack Finn' to the tune of 'Babyback Ribs.' I'm thinking EGOT.

Blueberry pancakes and eggs for dinner.

I need a Pillow Pet with a built-in flask.

"In short, we are living in the aftermath of an alien invasion." http://ping.fm/w1lhL

I'm gonna beat this server with a bag of oranges.

Baby sat up for bath for first time tonight. 7 months tomorrow.

I made my son what he requested for lunch - a turkey & ketchup sandwich. Please don't tell my wife.

I think we can all agree that I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE would be the best ever high school yearbook senior quote.

bootstrapping a new human being, one day at a time.

Give me a command line interface with enough switches and a prompt where I can type it and I shall move the world.

Horrible: boy thought murdered & mutilated, actually plane stowaway fell from wheelwell http://ping.fm/OanfB

Just switched my google voice to a Belvedere, CA number. I'm movin on up, virtually speaking.

Any day that only .6% of our servers fail a software push is a good day.

Viva Variety at SF Sketchfest this year. That will be good.

I don't know which is receding faster: my hairline or my aspirations.

Barney is on TV singing a Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa medley right now. IT BURNS

There's a shocking lack of construction paper in this purported 'art supplies' section at Walgreens.

Anyone planning a Four Loko Christmas? Last chance!

Idea: beano for dogs.

Has scientific analysis of the effectiveness of the blood donation questionnaire been performed or is it just all a bunch of hooey?

I just discovered the magic that is gist.github.com. It's pastebin with
VC & there's an emacs mode!

From what I can tell QR codes are mainly a way to over-complicate URLs.

I seem to be developing the knees of an 80 year old man.

Baby sleep sacks are just the thing for San Francisco winters.

Stanford coach: "God willing and the creeks don't rise, I'll be here" what's the rule that coaches have to be all 'folksy'?

Planet Green tv channel, please explain how your show Miami Ink fits into your ecological worldview.

Saw a mailing list post for 'used children's violin' and all I could think of was 'baby shoes, never worn'.

I hope Dinky Hocker got in to a good program and got clean.

The sleigh bells are what really take 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' over the top and make it a classic. Well that and Iggy Pop's drug problem.

Hippie at coffee shop trying to push some sort of raw food bar on me & my kid. Don't worry, not falling for it. That's how they trap you.

Writing my yearly self-review. I got tons of things done at work, presented a paper at a conference, AND we had a second baby. Total blur.

I'm in a coffee shop in the same building as the Long Now Foundation. I feel insignificant.

My biggest challenge at work is learning how to delegate. Turns out trying to do everything myself isn't a good long term solution.

Calling companies you extract money from 'partners' makes about as much sense as calling your wage slaves 'associates'.

I put the baby on the floor and he lays there. I look away for a moment and he is right behind me. Basically I have a babby Weeping Angel.

Screw it, I'm joining the The Rent Is Too Damn High! party.

Asked my wife to get me the coal scuttle. She looked at me blankly.

Everyone else went to Stanford game, I'm at home with the boys MAKIN DRIED APPLES! YEAH!

Sadly after all these years the only tune I can play on the piano is the JELLO theme.

ice cream or cupcake?

Lost public half of ssh keypair for automated login. Turns out if you feed private key to ssh-keygen -t it regens the public key!

I'm a sucker for the Cohen Brothers. Just put on 'A Serious Man'.

I'm thinking it's Vampire Weekend in those Honda commercials running constantly on tv right now?

Phone just told me SMS ERROR GENERALPROBLEM. Gee thanks for that one.

Today's adventure achievement: held a soapy baby in the shower and didn't drop him! UNLOCKED

I think The Rock is metamorphosing into Tony Robbins.

Holy crap I just figured out the company is called Lexmark because it's based in Lexington (KY). Glad I wasted time thinking about that.

There should be a social network for middle aged computer industry wannabe hipsters called 'Girl Talk'

The forced jocularity of childrens' tv show hosts really wears on the soul after a while.

That's a real glue trap for the soul.

Girl Talk at the Wilma Theater in Missoula would really rock my socks off http://j.mp/cX4O3Z

Today was a real 'keep the beast shambling' kind of day at work.

NY ex-governor disgraced by prostitute scandal is interviewing Ferris Bueller's teacher on CNN right now.

The process of deciding whether to be friends with a guy should probably be called dude diligence.

I feel its the rule somehow that guys named Rodney are required to have long hair.

@martinbarry I vote for smokeping & mtr.

Isn't every goddamn piece of software a service? SaaS makes no sense.

Remember when we called mash-ups 'sampling'?

Me with Tobias Oetiker of rrdtool fame http://ping.fm/jKxwq (by @gfontejon)

They should send American Pickers around to do interventions with Hoarders.

Word I created today which I swear sounded really clever in context: "code-dependent".

My company supplies envelopes and letterhead in every office supply cabinet. How quaint. Where's my dictaphone, huh?

Probably says something about me that I've read both 'Where's My Jetpack?' AND 'Jetpack Dreams'.

HTC Sense Android devices (Incredible) have automated flickr upload integration. Moto Droid X doesn't. WTF PEOPLE?

I seem to have an amazing talent for understanding heavy Indian accents on bad phone connections. Need to monetize that.

I just created a drink called 'I Weep For Kentucky'. I don't know what's in it, but it's really bitter.

For some reason I put Tilda Swinton and Toni Collette in the same vaguely disturbing category.

Plundering friend's goodreads.com book lists is a great way to find things to read. Who wants to be my goodreads friend? User philiph.

When I was a kid I used to have nightmares about being chased by Jawas. http://ping.fm/ZUXmP

GOD HATES FIGS (it's in the bible!) http://ping.fm/dTVxU

Is scrutinization a word? I just heard it in a meeting.

Barnes & Noble should come out with a Jersey Shore-themed ebook reader and call it the 'sNooki'.

Today's marketing opportunity: Vibram Five Finger Loafers®. You're welcome America.

Another Monday, another Fail Whale. Sigh.

Let's start a petition to get today memorialized as 'good buddy' day. Cause it's 10-4.

Put that in your utilikilt and smoke it

Hey apple how's that white iphone 4 doin?

Do bee farts smell like honey?

Please digeredon't

Kim Cardassians

Naming your baby modeling agency 'Nemesis' seems totally batsh*t insane.

Do methheads in England have all their teeth?

Babyleggin it

stempunk: a steampunk sub-genre focusing on the care and feeding of elaborate pocket-watches and the dandies who fob them.

Watching a BBC documentary about a pregnancy pact at a US high school is extremely surreal.

'Pop up shops' should probably stop existing now.

Whenever I hear the song 'Carrot Rope' by Pavement I automatically think of Carrot Top's giant bulgy roid veins. IT BURNS

I want to know why nobody's put Febreze in my antiperspirant yet.

3yo likes the song about the rocket body. parenting

Haven't worn a wristwatch for 6mo. Not sure how long it will take to get used to wearing one now.

Like in that Eminem song I would really like to see what happens when volcano meets a tornado.

We airshowed the Watsonville Fly-In who's airboss.

The 98 Jeep Grand Cherokee is pretty much the exact opposite of a Toyota Prius in every way.

If I hear one more person at this airshow call the B-25 a B-52 I'm going to lose it

We just showed that airshow who's airboss.

What does that giant air force cargo plane carry? US foreign policy of course.

There's a dude at this party who keeps calling it "flat tire ale".

OH: "that's the sound of freedom my friend" (spoken by an f/a-18 pilot).

I may have exceeded the daily limit on these mini bagel pizza appetizers.

OH: "let's heat up the thermocouple"

I think I hate the word 'curated'.

The last workday of the summer makes me a bit melancholic.

There's not enough xylophone-based music in this world.

Conversion van

I keep sending emails to ping.fm but I don't get itunes recommendations back. Help, Steve Jobs!

I keep sending emails to ping.fm but I don't get itunes recommendations back. Help, Steve Jobs!

Pretty sure every job I've ever gotten has been due to being honest about myself in interviews.

I am full of gyro.

I've got babywipes in every room of the house.

Penny is a really sadly underutilized girl's name.

I'm so incredibly glad facebook didn't exist when I was in college.

The fact that there are disparate Dove brand soap, chocolate, & ice cream products in the market is confusing.

The SF SPCA charges $150 to adopt a kitten, $50 to adopt a grown cat.

Taking danger level from orange (white shirt + coffee) to red (white shirt + replace toner cartridge).

Probably need to start an astroturfing campaign about my personal image.

My son just had his first bite of an Its-It so I guess he's officially a San Franciscan now.

Doing some bedtime reading about nginx & mongrel2. sysadmin

I'm ecomagining some craaazy stuff right now.

Turlock: the city that sounds like it's a space alien.

It always confused me as a kid that Armand Hammer did not own the Arm & Hammer company.

My whale, it's full of fail

Youth and liquor are wasted on the young.

I can't fade that kind of action

'Brooklyn's Finest' was a beautiful gritty throwback to the NY cop movies of the 1970s. Recommended.

Wait the Old '97s are still a thing?

I envy the moral certitude of the three year old child.

Carrying a spoon, just in case.

sunshine is the best disinfectant.

Do me a solid: don't use the term do me a solid.

Cool I can finally legally reverse engineer a dongle. Wait was that a gay marriage joke?

Ever have one of those days where the words just come out of your mouth in the wrong order?

I'm pretty excited about this 1983 'Best of Bisquick' mini cookbook grandma gave me.

My kingdom for a barcalounger!

I finished Dr. Who last night so now there's a gaping void in my life. Any suggestions?

Using the free wireless to watch 'The Hills' is probably a crime against humanity.

Crabwalk it off

3yo is rocking out to 'Clap Your Hands Say Yeah'. He'll probably be living in Williamsburg by next week.

Get me a quatah watah boss

I'm probably going to kick someone in the vuvuzlea today.

Is the plural 'beef jerkies', 'beef jerkys', or 'beefs jerky'? I'm so confused.

I have no idea why my sprint evdo wireless dongle has a microSD slot but I just used it to get pics off my blackberry so that's cool.

I just realized that not everyone grew up hearing about and dealing with the curse of leafy spurge and spotted knapweed.

You can pry this cafeteria booth from my cold, dead butt.

Get those damn bees out of here! Oh, you're watching soccer huh? Nevermind.

Opinions are like Yahoo accounts - everyone's got one.

Remember when you had to wait until evening to call someone because that's when the rates were cheaper?

There's probably some sort of bacteria that only lives on soap, right?

Imagine a world where there were no police procedurals or medical dramas on tv.

GTFO by Crash.Disco! http://ping.fm/XDLme actually heard a chiptune on the radio (well Sirius BBC 1 but close enough).

It's pretty awesome being a dad.

Postapocalyptic animated film '9' visually stunning with great characters but plot a real letdown. movies

Well I guess 'Wake Up' by Arcade Fire is pretty much a cliched 'serious emotional life-affirming movie trailer moment' song now, right?

I now know what a vuvuzela is, unfortunately. Thanks a lot soccer/twitter/wikipedia.

My Rule of Documentation: never write in email that which can be adequately described in a twiki page.

I watched Fitzcarraldo last night and now I despair of ever accomplishing anything useful or meaningful in my life.

The complete lack of narrative cohesion in 'One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish' really disturbs me.

Biodiesel is basically a bunch of non-sustainable baloney, right?

People keep mentioning 'The Hangover' when they see me sporting the baby bjorn.

Glorious Denver, I salute your omelet.

Today's computer geek gym tshirt blast from past: Boundless Technologies.

"Wikipedia k-hole"

Drinking large glass of chocolate milk before workout. I believe that is a 'performance enhancer', right?

The fail whale is forcing me to get too much actual work done today.

I just ate a pretzel m&m. Tastebud explosion. Mind blown.

dear lazyweb: please recommend a home 802.11g/n extended range wireless router.

dear lazyweb: please recommend a less eyeball abusing alternative to evite.

I'm trapped in a race to the bottom ... of this delicious bowl of froot loops!

Disc Golf on the community access channel? Oh yeah, I'm in Santa Cruz.

Feeling pretty proud of myself for building text munging oneliner with paste, join, and nl. Long live the almighty command line!

Well at least Al can listen to his Dead Kennedys records now without all the disproving looks from Tipper.

AC at gym is broken - accidental bikram stairmaster

Montanans get to make the last stand against the zombie hordes invading the US. Yay. http://j.mp/dqJFrw

I notice 7-11 is now selling Mafia Wars and Farmville cards next to the phone cards.

Considering naming my next kid 'Double Down' to capitalize on both revival of movie 'Swingers' and KFC product endorsements.

I miss C-band. Also that's a great name for a nerdcore rapper.

I enjoyed Glee at first but now it seems overly clever and not very funny. Am I missing something?

Back in the bjorn again.

I just ripped off the tip of my fingernail and taught my son some new words.

Bugzilla reminder: 28,154 tickets need your attention. Happy Monday!

I'm feeling awfully bougie these days. Boushie?

Yoplait is the Mountain Dew of yogurt.

Secret to potty training: tile floors and catholic guilt. Jk about the floors.

Check out Phil Jackson's awesome myspace page. It's real, right? http://j.mp/aRPppR

I've got Kid Cudi's 'Pursuit of Happiness' on repeat and I'm just going to listen until my head explodes or I achieve enlightenment.

Violator Depeche Mode + Coldplay = Muse.

Sous-vide cooking has jumped the shark.

Best dog breed? German Shepard of course. Case closed.

Thumbs up on the new mango orange bagel at Noah's. It's kinda pre-marmaladed.

I really need a pair of mariachi pants.

Young Joc is pretty good in a Dead Prez sort of way.

I ate a churro today so I'm safe from getting pinched, right?

I suppose you could do some sort of suburban orienteering by using satellite dishes as compasses.

Hey people I just watched a movie about some sort of bridge and Obi-Wan Kenobi was in it! Reals!

Bernie the Bus is totes real. OMG! http://ping.fm/SLD0s

Why isn't the FCC shutting down these completely snakeoil 'Cancer Treatment Center of America' ads?

Sure wish I would have thought of blog title 'Free Darko' first.

I just heard the term 'sports blog'. Does that exist? Never thought of it.

I, for one, welcome our salami-sorting robotic overlords. http://ping.fm/jnxAB

Just thought of 'Visualize Whirled Peas' which then led me to 'Contra Aid Kills... Communist Thugs'. Sometimes I miss Missoula.

The real reason why Steve Jobs hates Flash - Awesome blog post by Charles Stross. http://ping.fm/7hDf9

We make our own history.

Why is there no wooden Thomas version of Caltrain?!?

According to BMI calculation I am a fattie.

Someone needs to invent a drinko for Cinco that involves the game Plinko.

Today's best spam headline: "Boner tablets via Web". Yup, we're living in the future.

Is it hip if I use 'cuil' instead of the word 'fail'? Will people get that?

I think there should be a daycare named Cache Cr�che.

GLOBAL GINGER JIHAD - video for M.I.A's Born Free http://j.mp/b5p8LM NSFW

Good to see Tempe transplant SF police commish Gas�on speaking out about bogus new Arizona immigration laws.

I'm guessing Biodanza is Landmark Forum with humiliation via dance death march? http://j.mp/ba3cK9 Someone shoot me now plz.

Cumelada Vista, the nonsense song that has tortured me for years: http://j.mp/cpCmMG

I still forget that when people say 'last century' they mean the 20th Century.

Used the phrase 'you caused confusion and delay' in email, then realized was quoting Sir Topham Hatt from Thomas the Tank Engine.

Word I wish I could use more in day-to-day conversation: finial.

I think it should be a law that all hybrid cars only come in forest green. Really rub in your superiority.

Virtually abandoning eating restaurant food seems to be a good way to avoid gaining weight.

Ladies: this sweater with the big flowy front wrap pieces that hang to knees is silly. Plz retire from wardrobe.

I sure hope you didn't get your 'Holiday In Cambodia' tshirt at Urban Outfitters.

Decided that feeding my son cantaloupe sends a negative message. From now on I'm feeding him yesyoucanaloupe.

This news of a remake of Red Dawm makes me want to go pee in someone's radiator.

Wild salmon is currently available in San Francisco grocery stores for $31/lb.

Dr. Drew Pinsky sure has chained his immortal soul to the glorification of the suffering of other people.

East side hug it out! West side hug it out! South side hug it out! (nonsense lyrics / incompetent conflict resolution)

A new brown thing you'll totally eat. http://ping.fm/MBVV2

I could watch my son sleep for hours. Which would be mad creepster if he wasn't my kid.

Totes best shopping tote seen today: Virginia Quilting Museum.

I'm getting a 'Number 5 Is Alive!' tattoo in preparation for the remake.

I'm like a tween, except with middle age.

Anyone seen super creepy animated Michelin commercial where roadkill animals come back to life?

San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum I Ioved you in Dazed and Confused.

A truck sticker activity book and a three year old is a potent combination for Friday night fun!

Windup cymbal clapping monkeys terrify me, thanks to all the 80s horror movies I've seen.

Today I am left mousing. It is annoying but apparently necessary.

As much as I hate MTV, 'Made' is still a fun and inspirational show to watch.

Wow there's actually a new version of skype for mac available. Just a point release 2.8.0.851 though.

My house is filled with the swish swish swish of a toddler in nylon track pants.

Ah Mondays: Bugzilla Reminder: 92147 bugs need your attention. Sigh.

I just spilled coffee on my laptop so this week is off to a good start.

This street corner feels pretty muggery.

My love of Juliette Lewis is reaffirmed due to mediocre roller derby movie 'Whip It'.

If golf is a real sport how come so many top players have beer guts?

I'm pretty sure I will be able to impress my children with the story of seeing The Big Lebowski in original theatrical release.

I didn't get a chance to finish watching 'Amelia'. Can someone tell me how it ended?

Remember when duracell batteries had the little charge indicator strip on the side? I miss that.

I'm alternating sips of beer and coffee because I am still working and haven't fully committed to the weekend yet.

I keep giving GBV songs more stars than they deserve in itunes because I feel like I'm supposed to like that band more than I actually do.

Best word heard today: retardamalated. Usage: "This code is retardamalated. Was it written by monkeys?"

Why is it that I still only know of the great band Passion Pit due to my looking up the song in that one cell phone commercial?

I think AT&T called from 1989 and commissioned the Beyonce song 'Video Phone'.

I don't know how I survived so many years without owning an LED headlamp.

I really appreciate John Water's dedication to his creepy moustache.

I just saw a woman in seersucker pants. Which means of course that summer is here!

Guy at gym just doused himself with Axe Body Spray. Which was weird, because he doesn't look 14.

I, for one, welcome our new robotic towel folding overlords. http://j.mp/cU1W8c

I keep seeing the word 'incunabula' lately.

Mr. Woodcock is a really underrated movie.

I am listening to the 'I Am...Sasha Fierce' album right now and enjoying it way more than I should be.

I am proudly rocking a 'Queen of the Kitchen' coffee mug this morning.

Doctorow rants about the ipad... enjoyable as always. http://ping.fm/m6QQs

Jujyfruits: destroying expensive dentalwork since 1920.

Command line work over a satellite link is an exercise in keyboard buffering and stacking vi movement commands in your head.

Keyboards are the most disgustingly filthy things in a modern office environment.

So the phrase 'fourth hour of the Today Show' is shorthand for some sort of idiocy, right? Witless banter? What?

My job is all about rocks. That is to say, the finding of rocks and the peering underneath of them.

My desktop background images are largely aircraft and military vehicles. It's like I'm 12 and this is my bedroom.

Working at a large internet company sure makes it easy to collect Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons.

I miss the way people from Jersey say 'rat-e-a-tor' for radiator.

I hate everything about ebay, up to and including Meg Whitman's attack ads.

Just got excused from a work meeting because I wasn't needed. SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!

This week my son will only wear PJs with animals on them. No submarines!

DADDYRUN! - a game in which I pretend to be unable to catch a three year old.

Boy the sad dead people music in Black Hawk Down sure is similar to Battlestar Galactica. Same sound designer?

My son throws a baseball like Charlie Sheen in Major League. Watch out! parenting

Stride Mega Mystery: the tabla rasa of chewing gums.

The farmers market is awash in kale today. Yuck.

Fun experiment: spend an hour at futureme.org today sending messages to the future.

I like to pretentiously reference the worm Ouroboros in online conversation but I usually spell it wrong. Lit snob fail!

My son got really mad and made a sound like a dying Tauntaun. I was scared. parenting

Ok I'm officially giving 'I Wanna Be Adored' 4 stars in itunes and 'Fools Gold' 5 stars.

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

Going to the gym to see if a workout improves this head cold situation in any way.

So it looks like this new 'Is It Possible' show on Discovery is this century's answer to 'That's Incredible'?

Just saw a 4wd jeep eagle car drive by. Can't remember last time I saw one of those oddballs.

These movies that kids make using their Thomas trains are pretty adorable. http://j.mp/cJ5gEs

I just successfully navigated a work conference call with a three year old on my lap. Parenting WIN!

Dear online shopping sites: if the 'larger image' is only 10% bigger than the original, it is really, really annoying. Stop doing that.

I rolled up my sleeves before going to work today so I would look extra productive.

I am listening to 'Atomic Dog (Extended Original)' by George Clinton and wondering what a non-extended George Clinton song would be.

Fining people who don't have health insurance is a load of regressive taxation BS.

Sometimes I sing 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina' to my son, except I change Argentina to his name. Fabulous.

Man I have a craving for a huckleberry milkshake. Can someone drive me to Ravalli so I can get one right now?

Girl next to me at coffee shop has the nods bad, keeps almost falling on her laptop. Junkie? Pills maybe, doesn't look like a shooter.

Can I pay Amazon Mechanical Turk to finish rating my songs in iTunes?

I'm watching a window washer using a four story tall squeegee. Seriously, he's reaching the fourth floor windows from the ground.

My son has his green shamrock socks on today so at least he's not getting pinched.

Spending an afternoon enjoying hunting through every bank, utility, etc. website and updating address after apartment move. Joy.

I'm trapped in a recursive Amazon Recommendations/Wish List cycle. Can't get out, too many good books to add!

I now own a Cole Hardware collapsible lunch cooler. I'm pretty sure that makes me San Francisco legit.

I get a special warm fuzzy feeling every time I manage to sneak a semicolon into an email exchange.

A three year old wearing nylon track pants is like George Costanza x 1,000,000.

I just used 'adjudicate' in an email and am feeling like a smarty pants today. Small victories!

I am now the owner of a Disney Pirates of the Caribbean tube TV with a fake plastic skull on top. http://j.mp/dcsw4Q

This new firefox 3.6 'personas' thing is complete ridiculous insanity. Knock it off, Netscape Navigator.

I misspelled 'like' as 'lie' in IM. I tried to fix it and typed 'kike' instead. Then I gave up and wondered if it was beer thirty yet.

I'd like a double espresso with a steamed milk back, please.

Today's earworm: 'Failure' by My Robot Friend. It has that incredibly catchy slowly increasing tempo like 'Surrender' by Cheap Trick.

Next generatioin hipster idea: ride a tandem bicycle everywhere, but just by yourself.

Maple yogurt with pineapple chunks is a very odd flavor combination.

Dear Disney, stop teasing me with these awesome new Tron movie trailers - it's not coming out until Christmas 2010!

Holy crap does every car rental company have an absolutely horrible website? Enterprise and Budget blow.

Michael Buble on the muzak at the gym. I am getting PUMPED UP by his smooth, bouncy vocals.

I wish I knew how to play pianos filled with flames.

"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" by Allan Sherman just came on my itunes and that's a perfect way to start my work week. http://j.mp/bEtwLg

My son is asking for 'warmer blueberries' . He means freeze dried blueberries (because regular blueberries are in the fridge).

The cultural mix at playgrounds is pretty much the #1 reason we live in a city.

Man I love taking cabs. I need to be rich enough to make that my exclusive mode of transport.

The end of the Hummer brand is a major disaster for the novelty limousine market.

Guy serving me at Red Mango has killer clown and nazi skeleton forearm tattoos. I'm scared.

I just saw a dude check his pager. Also, it's 1992 today?!?

Watching Shinkansen, TGV, and ICE train videos on youtube (with a 3 year old). http://j.mp/9lie0H

Today's advice: the slow blade penetrates the shield.

My son told me I was number two, which leaves the question of who is number one still unanswered.

I'm giving up procrastination for Lent.

I just realized the lyric in that Sixpence None the Richer song 'Kiss Me' is "kiss me, 'neath the bearded barley". Had to look that one up.

Sometimes when mac ical.app can't connect it pops up 'Revert to Server', 'Try Again', 'Cancel'. Wtf is 'Revert to Server'?

I'm going back to basics this year - just thin mints.

I dare you to watch this and not laugh. http://ping.fm/SOHmt

I wish that bugzilla had a strikeout feature for previous comments.

Graffiti artists at the 15th anniversary party.

I hate the word 'freemium'. Let's put an embargo on that, ok?

Taking babies to bars: http://j.mp/bgKtTx This is probably why I hate Park Slope.

After all these years of listening to London Calling by the Clash I still don't know what 'phony beatlemania' is, exactly.

These device skins are pretty awesome: http://j.mp/d0wG1P - I need to get one for my blackberry.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Gyro-mounted cereal bowl for small children. http://j.mp/aUJ1d8

Point Break Live may be the new Rocky Horror Picture Show. You have been warned.

Beard Poppa was disappointingly mediocre. Pastry blah and kinda overly crunchy. Did I miss something?

About to try Beard Papa cream puffs for first time. I think they are supposed to be good?

There is a shocking lack of pitchered beer at this childrens' birthday party in a bowling alley.

It's always nice to have a little walking around money in your pocket, a little cheddar...

Aerospaceweb.org is filled with an amazing number of fascinating articles on planes, rockets, etc. http://j.mp/9JHUfx

There's an obnoxious yacht called 'Blue Steel' at the South Beach Marina tonight and I'm pretty sure that's a Zoolander reference.

Most pretentious band name ever? My vote is 'Architecture In Helsinki'.

Um exactly what is the 'purple rain' and why does Prince 'want to see you laughing/bathing' in it?

I think I'm going to reconsider my trip to SeaWorld.

The crowd at the San Francisco Embarcadero MUNI/BART station at 8:40am vaguely approaches a 'crush' of people. Vaguely.

Guy before me used zipcar for mcdonalds run. I'm throwing up a little bit in my mouth now.

I say this a lot at work: 'hey buddy, please ping the NOC'. Sounds weird out of context.

Almost pressed elevator button with edge of my coffee cup but then I realized that's basically sticking everyone's fingers in my mouth.

SF Trailside killer murdered someone from my tiny MT hometown 30 years ago, DNA evidence solves case: http://j.mp/aZHDcQ

Went to old eye doc yesterday and discovered my eyes are exactly the same as they were 7 years ago. Obsolescence deferred!

Today I just want to announce that I really love the band Lagwagon.

Giving my son a bath every evening is a real highlight of my day. That kid teaches me how to find the joy in simple things.

Took a three year old to the Watsonville municipal airport to see the planes. Pure joy.

Ha I just read a bugzilla comment where someone called a particular software package a 'special snowflake'. Not a compliment.

This new skicross event is terrifying. Why not just put blades on their skis?

Boy those 'Windows 7 was my idea' commercials sure come off as pompous.

My pancake-fu is weak today.

The great thing about oregano is it makes anything you put it on taste like pizza.

It seems insane somehow that the X-Games are now driving the future of the Olympics.

Why is ice dancing an olympic sport but ballroom dancing isn't?

IT IS BY WILL ALONE I SET MY MIND IN MOTION http://j.mp/9n5YWb - watch the second movie for enlightenment.

I don't know how but somewhere in here is a baseball metaphor.

Old and new Caltrain trains at SF station.

Jeez Eminem how about a song that doesn't sound exactly the same as every other Eminem song?

I'm pretty sure there's a Desktop Tower Defense reference in the Flobots song 'No Handlebars'.

It's HOT CROSS BUN SEASON!!!

I just compared my job to sausage making and politics.

Watch this video about SINUSOIDAL DEPLANARIZATION: http://j.mp/b6GTQS

I need an imaginary calendar where I can put meetings I never plan on attending, but I want to appear interested in. Nonvitationals.

While it is technically correct that we "don't know what we don't know", I do know, sir, that you are an idiot.

My software release engineering duties today are fractal recursive disappointment.

Steve knows whats up: 10 Locker Room Rules that must be followed. http://ping.fm/aAx2q

Watched Paula Dean make casserole of bananas, buttered bread, bacon, ham, and potato chips while I worked out. Think it negated my workout.

We have a conference room at work called 'Death Valley' I think if I had to fire anyone I would use that room to do it.

THE DEFENDER http://j.mp/8Z7QAi

Awesome fun: put a headlamp on a three year old and turn them lose in a big dark room.

I can't tell the difference between video games and the half pipe snowboarding.

It's a glorious spring evening in San Fran tonight - except it's February?!?

Johnny Weir, I salute your insanity.

I can't for the life of me determine what parents did before juiceboxes.

The passengers next to me are discussing FPGAs so clearly I'm on
Caltrain.

I suspect all curling puns involve the word 'sweep'.

CRAYON ROCKETS http://j.mp/aqA1yf

Regretting breaking in my new shoes by wearing them to work today.

Starting my two hours of work between 7 hours of meetings for the day.

Awesome foursquare pwnage: http://j.mp/bEpSWL I'm king of the WORLD.

Attn epicureans: Lucerne processed cheese loaf is NOT an acceptable substitute for Velveeta!

Have you seen the new foil pouch fruit puree snacks for toddlers? It's like your kid can be an astronaut for every meal!

I just saw several tween girls wearing Urkel glasses as a fashion statement. Tape and everything.

What is common thread in US skiers being media darlings and then flaming out? See Picaboo Street, Bode Miller, Lindsey Vonn.

Fire Control Computers Solve Fire Control Problems http://j.mp/b1JtLb

My three year old has the impulse control of Cookie Monster.

This license plate confuses me greatly.

Congrats on the home country gold, Canada! Now you can just chill in the hot tub & chug Labatts.

ONE KCAL

Is there an equivalent to exif/id3 for movies? Seems like metadata for movies is janky.

If economy is improved so much, why is my neighborhood awash in forsale signs?

Why does San Francisco make it so hard to find bus stops?!?

Waiting to take a cable car ride with a three year old!

Anything containing sugar can be turned into booze. What's the traditional maple syrup-based hootch?

Drove a beige prius zipcar tonight. Drained me a little emotionally.

I was disappointed to see that Robert Wagner was not the star of 'Hart's War'.

This is a terrible murder story in the NYT but I have to say it: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! I DRINK IT UP! @http://ping.fm/pBP3d

This would make an awesome apartment building.

Where did the brick go?

My wife pointed out that Jamie Foxx is now a serious EGOT contender after grammy win.

Public transit systems are a great way to teach letters and colors to toddlers.

Nothing improves a bagel like some small child drool. Oh wait, that's not my bagel.

There is definitely supposed to be a bridge in there somewhere.

I like to say I'm giving my son a 'juice bar' instead of a popsicle because it sounds like better parenting.

Let's all take a moment to remember the last giant event in Vancouver: EXPO 86 http://j.mp/9JffEE

WHY IS TOM BROKAW BEING ALLOWED ON TV???

Today I reached INBOX ZERO on my blackberry as well as my work and personal inboxes.

Youtube now has parental controls, which is actually good for us with small kids: http://j.mp/dpVL65

Unspoken in NYT article about internet on school buses http://j.mp/bIjd2g - why are kids being bussed 60mi to school?

Build quality of my new Targus Groove backpack is amazingly bad. Like I bought it in Chinatown.

Why does itunes force me to agree to a new license agreement on every point upgrade?

Hey, what else do you need besides a narrow tie? http://j.mp/bzgRRM

This guy lives in a classy 178 sq. ft apartment. Inspirational. http://j.mp/bYZINu

I just entertained a 3 year old train fanatic for an hour with the trains photo group on flickr (slideshow) http://j.mp/aXeQZR

My 'moving to NYC' page is by far the most popular on my site. http://j.mp/d6s4S3

My three year old son is going through a 'everything needs a dipping sauce' phase. Tonight: egg rolls and ketchup.

Man I gotta get me a new GustBuster umbrella http://j.mp/ckdMdV

My coworker today labeled one particular developer an 'architecture astronaut'. Not a compliment.

My son has just about aged out of our local park. He now dominates the toddler class.

Alto sax player in Embarcadero station: yr Kenny G stylings are making my ears bleed.

NY Times article: "Q. What’s your view of fear as a management tool? A. Fear is the best motivator." http://j.mp/acOiX6

Genre of the song I am listening to right now is 'Happy Hardcore'. For ravers who find the regular stuff too slow and boring?

Free Nescafe instant coffee on Market Street.

Somehow this hot dog chewing gum is really weird.

N train exiting tunnel in front of US Mint.

Turns out that when I shop at Portrero Hill Safeway I'm on the old Seals Stadium site. http://j.mp/aoELCz

Totally insane electro-mechanical Pong game from the 70s called Blip: http://j.mp/9bSUq9

I'm pretty sure Ni Hao Kai Lan doesn't teach you a damn thing about Chinese culture.

Blew out left elbow of yet another dress shirt today. Wife says cause my arm muscles are getting so large.

Woman exiting Caltrain managed to navigate steps on crutches and squeezing iphone on shoulder.

Hm my fav Fugazi song is 'Waiting Room' & that was first song on first EP (1988).

Had an entire afternoon of meetings that went surprisingly well.

http://j.mp/cDRSnm - I worked here, although not until two years after 9/11.

Sometimes at work I reserve a big conference room for a couple hours and sit there by myself like I'm king of the world.

No head end power on my Caltrain but doors and intercom still work. Interesting there is a separate power source.

Head end power on my morning Caltrain keeps cycling on and off. This could be a long trip...

I'd like to know who is in charge of scattering broken glass on San Francisco sidewalks because that guy does a hell of a job.

MS Paint sort of a program, all done in web page with javascript and
canvas. No flash. http://j.mp/9zUnlU

Scope Outlast Mouthwash says '37 uses' on the label. What are the other
36?

My 3 year old is very confused as to why banana peppers do not taste
like bananas.

BREAKING NEWS: Toyota recalls all 1997 Solara convertibles, due to incredible ugliness.

I hate iphoto yet all my photos are in it. Should I switch to aperture?

I find myself enthralled by twitter and almost completely uninterested
in facebook. Does this portend something or am I missing the point?

Android bug reports, courtesy of xkcd: http://j.mp/dysfsK @t
android,phone,hilarity

Amateur video of the Challenger explosion: http://j.mp/bHiO7n @t
shuttle,nasa

Here's the shuttle separation video from last night, even cooler than one I posted earlier. 18:40 in. http://j.mp/deiIYw

9 injured in Houston bus/lightrail collision: http://bit.ly/aa9B3m

Check this awesome clip of solid rocket booster separation from the shuttle: http://j.mp/aSYFRh Don't know which mission.

Working on my single day "most bugs filed in bugzilla" record. Keyboard smoking.

Considering just avoiding work for the rest of the afternoon by going to the gym and doing a long heavy workout.

Starting my work week at INBOX ZERO.